A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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