If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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