one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
