you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
