I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
