okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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