bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
