had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize