I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
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Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
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I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
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It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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