He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
