i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize