So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
