Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
