he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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