ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
