why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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