I love black thongs
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
