my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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