Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
