You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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