I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
