I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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