i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
