I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
