bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Come see our sink grown plant.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
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We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.