The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
