yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
