oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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