Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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