I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
