i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
