he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
