Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize