She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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