if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
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