Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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