As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I think my fart just growled at me.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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