The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Randomize
