Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize