Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
