I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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