i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Randomize