I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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