That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
