Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My dick has a subreddit
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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