So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
