I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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