Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
