you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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