uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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