I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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