Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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