I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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