if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
