He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Also, beer. Big fan.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
