i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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