don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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