I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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