you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize