i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
