I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
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So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
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We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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