She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
