is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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