'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I AM VODKA MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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