I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows