his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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