She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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