You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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