Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize